Unlikely Places

Sometimes when you are least expecting it life surprises you with, well, just something different, a bout of joy in the midst of sadness. A night of unexpectedness . This picture was from about a week ago. I was sitting under this tree talking with a good friend about a tough situation. I wrote a whole entry in my notebook about this moment-- to bring to this blog. It was something about feeling safe and secure in the curve of this tree, where trunk met earth and everything was stable and certain (trust me, it was sooo profound!) And yet, only five days later I feel a whole new sense of wonder. Not for the security of nature, but for its wildness. For the continued growth that comes with each new season, never knowing for sure what to expect, except that change always brings something new, fresh, and different. I pray that this week brings continued changes: cooler Boston days, new surroundings (ie, vacation!!), and deeper belief that happiness is not something that is controlled, but is how we choose to live.

Simply the City

This is a picture I took from the top deck of a dinner cruise as we headed out into the Boston Harbor. It reminds me that when you are open to it, life is full of unexpected surprises: a last minute invitation to a post-wedding dinner cruise with old friends, the way the temperature of the air changes only a few miles off shore, a good-bye that gives you what was needed, a hollywood movie that does more than just distract you for an afternoon. In a weekend that was was initially filled with uncertainly and self-reflection (maybe for another post, but maybe not), each of these experiences brought many moments joy. Being able to be present to these moments, that is my goal this week. I will try to snap more pictures of these moments in order to share them with you (and remember them for myself). So I enjoy this picture for exactly what it is....a somewhat blurry picture of a city that I call home, which is all I need it to be.

Talking into Joy

Have you ever had those experiences where in a short time a few different people from different parts of your life all confirm the same thing? That happened to me this week. I talked to multiple friends who gave me the same unsolicited answer to a question. It made me consider how this happens, and I realized it was because I opened up to them about something that I was afraid to talk about for a long time. Those conversations confirmed for me that communication is such a powerful means to grow, in oneself and in relationships of all kinds. I was also reminded what it is like to be fully present in a moment of sharing yourself with someone else. I forgot that it is such a freeing, simple, and joyous feeling, even though it can sometimes seem so scary and unappealing. So, here is a picture that was sent to me recently from a trip to visit friends who live a simple and open life. With the patter of tiny feet, running noses, cold weather, and busy schedules we found so many happy moments to laugh and be with one another. Here's hoping that the next couple of days are filled with simple joys, honest conversations, and many laughs.

Peace

Today, at my weekly Tuesday ritual I was told to make peace. Can't get more peaceful than a solar bus! After a tense weekend it is amazing how a cool breeze, a dog at the foot of the bed, a clean room, a quiet apartment and a long awaited decision can bring peace to a restless and inquisitive woman. And so I send the Solar Bus out with an offering of Peace to anyone who needs it.

Finding my Breath

So...fears. We all have them right? Maybe some more than others. I have these paralyzing fears, the ones where you know, rationally that they are ungrounded, but they still rear their ugly little heads at the most inconvenient times. You know those? Anyway...flying. That is one that gets me every time. And so I decided to take pictures while I was up in the air a couple of weekends ago. I am always struck by the feeling of awe when looking down on the clouds. The power that they wheel when they bring us storms and yet the simplicity in their forms and color as they pucker the sky. So why is the open sky so scary when I am up there? The unknown? The lack of control? Sure, that makes sense. So in my usual way I think, and think and think, how do I fix this? What can I do to make it ok? This is where my friendly neighbor came in on this particular trip. The scene: Fasten your seat belt sign come on. The flight attendants say to please take your seats. The rough air starts. Stops, starts again. Emily's heart is beating like Phoebe's tail as she awaits the throw of a stick. Her hands start to feel slick. One more bump and down they go, grabbing the guys arm next to her. A quiet "I'm sorry" is given. Unnerving smiles are exchanged. And then: "Just exhale" this stranger says. "It usually helps."

Ha, you mean breathe. Just breathe? What a novel idea. After he said this, I felt my body. My arms tense, my fingers curled, by legs tight, and my breath held. Being 30,000 odd feet above the ground, I realized something...it was not up to me. Nothing about that plane ride was up to me. I was quite literally a passenger. The one thing that was up to me, was me, my hands, my fingers, my legs, my breath. So I exhaled. And low and behold, I made it back to the ground.

So as I sit here, on a rainy day in Cambridge, weeks later, when life seems like it could be on the cusp of change I again remember the words of an unassuming guru and I exhale. Breathing out the fears of the unknown, the loss of control, and the anxiety that often accompanies changes, and I breathe in the love I know is all around, the excitement of not knowing what will come next, and the strength that always accompanies great changes. The next season of life, ie. Fall as an employee, student, new roommate... hold the potential for great fear. But instead, at least today, right now, I am going to breathe, exhale and inhale-and have faith that I will again make it back to the ground.